Who is going to pay 40 dollars plus tax for a season of Matlock on DVD?
Here’s an opportunity to spice up your family dinners with sacrilegious consumerism! The 99¢ Only Store in Corona carries a line of religious, dishwasher-safe plastic plates. Designs include several different images of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, a Nativity scene, Da Vinci’s “Last Supper”, and Our Lady of Guadalupe. Whether you want to eat off of the Blessed Virgin’s face or just hang a couple of these priceless works of art on your wall for all your classy friends to admire, the 99¢ Only Store is the right store…now more than ever!
Notice that the plates are stacked in a Toy Story box in front of Woody and Buzz Lightyear designs. There’s always something for the parents and the kids at the 99¢ Only Store!
My family loves me.
Mom: (speaking to me) Sometimes you're so much like Jack Black.
Patrick: Except you're not fat, and you don't have a beard.
The internet is abuzz with the din from South Africa this summer. I’m not talking about those damnable vuvazelas. No, the loudest ruckus is coming from millions of football fans furious over blind referees miscalling goals and off-sides penalties. Traditionalists claim that bad calls are just part of the game, along with foul theatrics and stadium riots. Others are calling for technological solutions, such as instant replay and goal sensors, which are common to other professional sports.
I am here to propose a third option: let the footballers choke slam and power bomb referees who judge falsely. Do you think that England’s Frank Lampard would have lost that clear goal against Germany if referee Jorge Larrionda knew his neck was on the line? Nick Patrick won’t forget his ethics again after Kane showed him the business back in 2001. Let’s introduce cage match justice to the game of football and straighten this sport out.
I don’t want fame and influence for the money or the women. I only want to have my name listed in Wikipedia as a “notable resident”.
How Lyndenites have fun: Adrian and Elijah recreate an authentic Dutch scene.
Andrew doesn’t know that he’s just speared his dinner.
This, my friends, is Tacoma’s KFC car. You can’t tell, but it has a photo of one of the Super Value items on the back window.
Per Joy’s complex, lucid fantasy that she is a Disney princess, she has declared my mother a wicked witch, and locked her out of our castle née house. As Prince Charming, it would be treasonous of me to unlock the doors for the old hag laden with poison apples.
